#DearValentine · Blog Challenge · Writing

#DearValentine – Episode 1

“Never. Cheat. On. Me”

The photographs weren’t a surprise really, she had known for months that he was cheating on her. It was the note she’d found that really pissed Sian off. How dare he speak about her like that to this floozy? She had done everything for him, gotten him to where he was today – with his high flying job, perfect physique and fancy car. Sian had paid for everything. And now it was time for him to pay her back.

Keiran read the note, twice. Sian wanted to do something ‘special’ for Valentine’s day. He had no idea why, after ten years of not doing anything, she wanted to do something this year. He shrugged, best just to go along with it. He would wear her favourite aftershave, and even get a haircut, and meet her at the docks where they’d first set eyes on eachother – and he’d had eyes only for her yacht.

Sian absently raked a perfectly manicured fingernail across the faint vein in her wrist. Kieran was late, though she hadn’t expected any less. He was probably trying to placate that whore of his. Sian had the photographs, pasted along the walls of the abandoned warehouse, and the video of them was playing silently on the old projector. She was quite pleased by the eerie atmosphere it lent to the already creepy warehouse.

Kieran checked his watch again, Sian wouldn’t be pleased, but it wasn’t his fault the car had been clamped. He’s stopped at Bevaerbrooks to buy her something nice, and that damn traffic warden pounced. Finally he spotted the dock where Sian’s yacht had once been moored.

Sian greeted Kieran with a lingering kiss, and with a smile bordering on psychopathic she stabbed him over and over with the ice pick, screaming.

“Never. Cheat. On. Me!”


5 thoughts on “#DearValentine – Episode 1

  1. The perspective switches worked nicely on this one, I think. Love is tough, though I imagine I’ll be way behind on the anti-Valentine vibe this time around, but who knows?

    All tied together very tightly here, and built up well too, so my favorite line is definitely “Never. Cheat. On. Me!” because the staccato speech clearly suggests a vicious stab with each word that is somehow very satisfying.

  2. Like David, I love the perspective switches in this piece – and the way you manage to tell the whole story in so few words is wonderful. Looking forward to reading the rest of your pieces!

  3. Got to agree – the POV shifts are smooth as smooth can be here! It’s very smooth and accomplished – and the end sentence jars beautifully. Like David said, you can practically hear the hack, hack, hack. The contrast between the frenzy and her meticulous appearance and careful planning is stellar. Right up until the last moment, you’re really not sure what is going to happen. Excellent!

  4. Agreed with the above! I have to say, though, that my favorite line might be, “He would wear her favourite aftershave, and even get a haircut, and meet her at the docks where they’d first set eyes on eachother – and he’d had eyes only for her yacht.” Definitely a major cad, that one.

    Way to rock the anti-Valentine’s Day vibe!

  5. I have to agree with everyone as well on the POV changes. I did the same in my first novel and although not everyone likes it, you did yours well (and the bold print was a nice touch). 🙂

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