A fresh take on some old habits

Slaughter

Does it hurt? A voice, barely a whisper. Darkness. Does it hurt? I try to shake my head, try to tell the voice that I cannot feel. Nothing works. My limbs seem no longer mine. I hope it hurts. I want to scream. I want to know why. Darkness. I hope it hurts you as much as it hurts me. I can’t see. I don’t know where it’s coming from. Would you like to feel how I feel? I scream inside, I cannot breathe. I want to ask where I am. I want to ask who the voice is.  Not yet, darling, not yet. Light, little dancing drops of light. Pain. Searing pain. Where, I don’t know. I feel it… somewhere. Like burning. The smell of charred flesh chokes me. Does it hurt now, my love? Yes, yes, it hurts. More light. Red. Red? Memories flashing. Walls of blood. The girl. That girl. You remember me now? Yes, I think I do. You were the one who asked me to help. And you refused, my love. You refused me. Flashes of light. Of pain. Of light. I try to move again, I feel my legs. They are there, but they are not in my control. You are mine now, dear one. More pain. Searing agony. I don’t know where. I feel it inside. Inside where? I asked you to make me stop. The girl. The girl who came to me, her pale hands dripping with blood. I couldn’t look at her then. I couldn’t. You never saw how beautiful I was. Before… Before what? What happened? Before He made me…. Made you what? Agony. Flesh burning. More light. Blood on the walls. The blood on the walls. It wasn’t my doing. Not this. But I will add to it now, I promise you. I only wanted to rest a while. You will sleep forever soon, my lover. No. Not forever. Only to get her out of my head. I should have helped her. I shouldn’t have told them to take her away. I remember now, those eyes. Those eyes. Yes. You should have helped. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s too late now. It’s done. He’s coming for you, He’s coming and He will have what He needs. Bones snapping. Mine? Pain. Yes, mine. Bright now. Bright and sticky and sweet. She’s not some lunatic. He’s real. Real. Like the pain I feel now. He wants your beating heart, but I can’t let him have it. I loved you, you know. That’s why I asked. How could you love me? You don’t know me. You don’t know of my sins. I know all of your sins, and all of your scars. And I love you for them. Gods, why? Why me? Gods? There are no Gods left. Only Him. And He is coming. I shouldn’t have gone there. I shouldn’t have listened to them. I shouldn’t… No, you shouldn’t have. But it’s too late for remorse. You should never have done a lot of things. But you did His bidding just as I did. It was never the Gods. No. No, I didn’t. I’m a man of faith. Of the Gods. I can’t breathe, Gods,save me. I can’t breathe. The pain will end soon, my love, I swear it. I don’t want to die here, not here in this slaughterhouse. He can’t have my soul. He already has your soul. The Gods have abandoned all of us. But He will not have your heart. Tearing, twisting, wrenching pain. She has my heart. The Devil has my soul. The walls are painted with my blood and the blood of the thousands I have slaughtered in the name of my Gods. Forgive me. Never.